Stop The Crazy

The other day in my office a couple of us started talking about dating.  I'm not an expert, but I am the only one that is "dating" (that's if you call Netflix binges solo on the couch a date) so it was sort of a funny topic.

I don't know how we got on the topic, but it was right there and so was the point that so many people are crazy. I have dated crazy and I have witnessed the after effects of a man who has dated crazy before he dated me. 

The real problem is that regardless of how a relationship ended, the effects the ex had on a person is now a residual effect they will carry into all future relationships.  

Ever wonder why guys think girls are crazy for constantly asking if there is someone else?  Well some guy somewhere in her past made her think and believe she wasn't enough.

Ever wonder why a guy doesn't fully trust the new woman he is dating?  Some girl in his past lied and cheated and he now brings that to the table.

Then there is just crazy.

No it isn't fair to constantly hold the mistakes of someone else against your new interest, but it's human nature... Once bitten twice shy and it doesn't even have to be with the same snake.

All I can say is, if you're crazy you should keep it to yourself, because you ruin people and they aren't able to move past your crazy into healthier relationships. 

Tinder- What Have I Done?!

After much deliberation and lack of inspiration for the blog, I decided to try tinder again...

I am not happy about it, but I am also not embarrassed.  More or less frustrated.  I like to run these so called social experiences every once in awhile to see how bat shit crazy some guys are.  This go 'round I have not been disappointed in the crazy department.  It took all of  48 hours and a few random messages back and forth for the first crazy to appear.

First off, I don't give out my phone number and never more information than a standard area of where I live, I am silent about what I do besides blogging and I even warn most that their stories (sans identification) could end up here.  I am all about full disclosure when referring to the world wide blog, but I also refuse to tell them where I blog.  I like privacy, which seems weird if I am subjecting myself to online dating, or connecting.  That isn't the point of this post, sorry.

So let's call Mr. Crazy Face John.  John seemed normal and nice enough.  We went back and forth with banter, discussed our educations, and possibility of meeting up (yes actually meeting... eeek!  Don't worry I would have left every clue possible in case he was a serial killer).  Just yesterday we were chatting about cars and trucks and that sort of nonsense when I got busy doing stuff with my family who lives next door.  I started getting the "where are you?', "why are you avoiding me?" "I guess you are done" messages and I was like "woah bro, chill out, just hanging out with my family."  I explained that I am VERY close with my family and we all live next door to each other.  He went nuts.

Not just nuts, but fucking bat shit crazy....

John-"So I can't even come see you without the whole white trash clan judging me, and ultimately deciding that they hate me for some made up reason so that they can continue to control you..."

Me- " Yeah we are not white trash nor are we hill billies and honestly they don't control me, I enjoy spending time with them, but I am also an adult who can make my own decisions and I don't feel the need to explain myself or those decisions to you or anyone."

John- "Eh, I think I'm done.  White trash or not, that's weird as shit and the kind of situation where your family would dictate our lives. Prob why you're single.  Good luck though!"

Me- "Uh ok."

That was the end...  The real issue as to why this is so insane to me is because this guy already had a hypothetical "us" in his brain after talking sporadically for 48 hours.  Some people might find that sweet, I find it creepy.

He couldn't even be nice about it.  He chose to name call and judge the reasons why I am single.

The real reason why I am single is because I choose to be.  I could date an asshole, lord knows I have plenty of them in my past.  I could date a nice guy, but I am not looking for a ring or running down the aisle anytime soon.  I had previously found the one that I thought was my lobster, but I was wrong.  The thing is I can date whoever, but I still choose to be single with no bearing on family or friends.

Besides pizza, beer, Netflix and yoga pants are my Saturday night dates.

Dating Disasters Link Up #3

Hey Y'all!

Well it is time for round three of the Dating Disasters with Miss Ellie and myself.

<div align="center"><a href="</span><a class="_553k" href="http://kristiesbluejeans.blogspot.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="color: rgb(59, 89, 152); cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">http://kristiesbluejeans.blogspot.com</a><span style="color: rgb(62, 69, 76); font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">" title="Third Thursday "><img src="</span><a class="_553k" href="http://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag213/sh21fhl/75fb4969-52ad-4fcf-abb6-45c23368a52a_zps42be4662.jpg" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="color: rgb(59, 89, 152); cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">http://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag213/sh21fhl/75fb4969-52ad-4fcf-abb6-45c23368a52a_zps42be4662.jpg</a><span style="color: rgb(62, 69, 76); font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">" alt="Third Thursday " style="border:none;" /></a></div>

I ran into a guy I used to hang out with off and on for a couple of years.  We seemed to get along great when I was a drunk 21 year old girl so I figured why not try hanging out again when he called me a couple years ago.  We had run into each other in a bar and he had said that I had always made him laugh and smile and that he missed being around me.  Basically he said everything right to get me to go out with him.

It was Christmastime and I had to be in another town for shopping but he said he would gladly meet there and would finish up shopping with me and we would head to dinner afterward.  I won't lie, I never dread dates but I was seriously dreading this one.  I should have listened to my gut but I didn't.

We had plans to meet at 7, he was a half an hour late which wasn't too bad because I was able to get most of my shopping done.  I had one more stop before dinner and since it was an outdoor mall we walked to the store.  It was probably the city equivalent of three blocks.  I bought three big packages there... He didn't offer to take one of them.  I am not complaining because had I gone alone I would have had to have carried them, but I do expect the men I date to be gentlemen.   So there I was carrying three awkwardly large boxes in addition to other bags from other stores when we finally get to my car, he watches me struggle to put them all down and load them up and says "I don't want to eat here, everything is either really shitty or really expensive and I don't want to spend a ton of money on dinner."  My eyeballs just about popped out of their sockets.

I calmly asked, "Well where would you like to go?"

He responds with,"My friend's band is playing at the LAB (local mountain bar) and I figured we could just drive up there and go.  I will totally buy you something from Del Taco, just pull in behind me and I will say I am paying for the car behind me."

Uuuuuhhhhhh,, WHAT THE F?!?!?!?!?!?!  I said "No thanks, how about I just meet you at the bar?"

"No how about you follow me to my house and then we can ride together"

Trying to hold my anger in I agreed that was fine.  Once in my car on the way home I called approximately ten people to make sure I wasn't going to be at the bar myself with him.  He was slowly losing points in my book and slowly racking up a kick in the nuts.

We got to his house and before I knew it I was driving both of us to the bar getting a lecture on how much I can have to drink.  Last time I checked I was an adult and I can make my own decisions, but what the f ever.  We got to the bar where he proceeded to get hammered and tell me he had to be up early...  So what did I do?  The most immature bitchy thing ever.  I grabbed my bff, a guy friend, the dude and went to the 7-11 bought a 30 pack of budlight and kicked the guy out of my car at his house on my way to the dirt roads. In fact I believe I said "Get the f out of my car or I will drag you out!"

I never really talked to him again until he randomly called me last summer to tell me he was pretty sure he had feelings for me... Ugh no!