Friday, September 6, 2013

And they are back! (dating diaries#2)

** This was my original blog planned for yesterday, but after hearing bad news I put it off.  If you are someone who prays, please pray for my sweet, beautiful and inspirational friend Tory, her loving and wonderful husband Matt and both families.  It is very much appreciated!  Hope you enjoy this post as much I as I enjoyed reliving "stalker" moments.**


After the blog "Husband Fluffer" blog (read here) post the other day, a great friend told me she was a “woodwork girl,” the one where old boyfriends or friends seem to seep out of nowhere to tell you things like “you were the one that got away” and “I never stopped thinking about you” or “I was so terribly cruel and have always wanted to apologize, and maybe get a second chance.”  As she commented on my blog post about how many years after the fact it occurs, it got me thinking…  Maybe I am not just a “husband fluffer” but also a “woodwork girl”.  Which made me start thinking about all of the other guys I have dated or been involved with that seem to come back.  What can I say, I am totally awesome and everyone wants to be part of the awesomeness I exude.

Let’s start with most recently-

Bakersfield- This guy was great, met through online dating about 6 years ago, but never actually met in person.  You see, I don’t trust the internet, not at all.  I had a deep down feeling that he could potentially kill me or something terrible and I would end up on that show “Dates from Hell” (even though it hadn't been created at the time, I already knew people are psycho).  We talked on and off for months which turned into years, but timing and that nagging feeling (of it wasn't safe) never had us actually meeting.  As the story would go, he went off and got married and not six months in started contacting me again and telling me things like “You’ll never know how much you touched my life” and “My biggest regret was never actually trying with you.” This guy was always great, and truly if possible I would adore being friends with him, but I would never ever want to be the reason a marriage doesn't work out.  Advice- Please try work out your marriage and if you can’t then we be friends, but that is all I have got.

The “Other” guy in the band- Another great guy, that I have semi dated/ hooked up with off and on for years.  I feel for this dude, as his timing is literally ALWAYS off. Not to mention that the last date we went on, I kicked him out of my car!  In my defense, he said he would take me to dinner then decided everywhere was either too expensive or too cheap.  It was sort of awful.  Then I made a mistake, on his birthday I kinda made him think I was into him (Attention whore much?!?!) and left it at, “I am kinda with someone else, that I REALLY care about it.”  He was a complete gentleman about it.  Until my birthday, when he decided it was time to share the feelings he had for me, I told him I was in love with the other guy (which was completely true and still is the truth).  He respectfully told me it was bittersweet, but was very happy that I found someone I could be happy with.  Advice- If I have kicked you out of my car, it will never work out.  Oh and buy a girl dinner for Christ’s sake!

The Long Distance Dude- This guy I met via facebook and mutual friends.  He seemed legitimately interested in me.  We made plans to meet up when I flew out to his state.  After buying a plane ticket and arranging a trip with a friend (Her fiance at the time lived not far from this guy) I stopped hearing from him.  It took a bit of digging around (and the gut wrenching feeling I get when guys are with another girl) and some inquiries from friends to receive an email stating he was with someone else and was sorry.  A few months later, I wished him a happy birthday and from that point forward I have heard from the dude at least three times a month.  It is more of a friendship now, but at first it was littered with apologies and back handed compliments.  Advice- If you are already having one girl visit you, don’t go get involved with another girl.

The Casanova- Oh lord, this was a dumb choice but still I played his game well.  We had a few good times and would randomly run into one another (small town, remember?) and continue on with flirty banter.  I knew better and continually walked away, only to have him reappear and ask to take me to dinner or flatter me.  Luckily, he started a relationship and seems to be on the right track now.  Advice- If he is a known womanizer, play at your own risk.  It is easier not to get involved, period.


Those are the four major “woodwork” men I have had in my life.  Apparently there is just something about it.  I like to think it is because I am amazing and fun and I make people feel at ease.  Well, maybe too much at ease, as they keep coming back!

** Again, identities have been kept secret to protect my own well being**