Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Husband Fluffer (dating diaries #1)

Identities have been kept secret for my own well being. 

You know her or maybe you are her, the loveable but oh so dreaded “husband fluffer”.  I am one.  Not sure if I should be proud by the fact that multiple ex-boyfriends started long term relationships, became engaged or got married not long after dating me.  Here is my list and how I clearly helped them out:

“As in the city in Texas” is how he’d introduce himself - This guy was two years older than me, went away to college came back we met through mutual friends.  Apparently this guy longed to be settled down and married.  We had a couple of nice dates, but in the end he was slightly intense and too ready to be a dad for a girl at 21.  I broke it off after months of back and forth dating and not long after he met the woman he is now married to with a beautiful baby.  Creep factor- they moved in on the street below mine, directly below the neighbors across the street.

Old Man Skater with multiple ex-wives - Oh lord, this is the one that was the most painful (until recently) and probably the stupidest decision in my life, but hey I was young, dumb and completely flattered that an older man was interested in me.  Not long after we started seeing each other, rumors came around (it’s a small town) that he was sleeping around.  It’s was true he was, with the woman he is now engaged to.  After everything, they made me out to be the bad guy, but life goes on.  I truly hope they are happy together, because people like that deserve each other.  Creep factor- I still have to see him multiple times a week, the joys of PWD.

The Dude in the Band – What can I say, I loved this dude.  I thought we had a really awesome time together; I got to attend shows and say things like, “I’m with the band.”  The funniest moment between the two of us, was a pedestrian crossing the street and I mentioned it and it caused a full-fledged war.  I never meant for it to create an argument, but that just shows how different we were.  He ended up with a cute girl who seems to completely love him.  In the end. I think he thought I wasn’t that into it, yet I was, it’s just that damn crab shell around me.  –Creep factor: there isn’t one, I genuinely think he is a great guy and deserves the best. 

 The Hero – A firefighter and I met one night at a bar and then continually ran into each other over the next couple of months.  I decided I liked him and figured why not go out with him… Then he sent me flowers on Valentine’s Day before the actual date in the middle of a blizzard.  Tried to pick me up and take me ALL the way across the mountain, if I would have liked him more than the attention I received, I sure as hell would have jumped in that truck and took off.  The poor dude just wanted to be loved because his heart was so big.  He was over the top intense for me but in the end, married the girl who had loved him since high school.  A lucky dude, with two beautiful daughters.  Creep factor- There isn’t one, we moved on with our own lives.

Wannabe Biker with Mommy Issues – Oh lord… I don’t even know where to begin with this one…  Let’s just say local bowling league meets online dating meets 40 year old drama queens.  He was quiet and seemed lonely, and I am fun and bubbly… Opposites attract?  Yeah right!  He ended up playing high school games, ended up with a woman (ten years his senior whose son was only 10 years younger than him) on our bowling league who died her hair the same color as mine (psycho much, me thinks yes!) and eloped around Christmastime never to be seen or heard from again.  Thank you sweet baby Jesus for that.  Creep factor- Before marriage, but after “dating” he would walk up behind me at the alley and play with my hair… Uh no, not cool!

Taking this jaunt down memory lane reminds me how much I have helped a few guys see what they really want in relationships and while some are bittersweet, I am so happy they have moved on to better places in their lives.  There is a saying about each person being in your life for a season, reason or lifetime.  These were just a few “seasons” and “reasons,” and although I am hurting now, I wonder if someday I can look back and say the same things about the one it just ended with.  Was he my season or reason, or is there some way he will work himself into a lifetime, because in truth, I do not hate him, but I do hate what he did to me.  Perhaps, he won’t be married or in a relationship, but the ones who have treated me the worst seem to be the ones who moved on the fastest in the most serious manner.