R-E-G-R-E-T

Everyone in life has regrets, no matter how big or small, insignificant or superficial. They are there. This last weekend got me thinking on different things I regret.  A few are bigger than others and some may seem so trivial, however they weigh heavily on my mind from time to time, some more than others and I sometimes wonder how they have shaped me in a manner.

1. Never spending time with grandpa while he was battling cancer. I missed out on precious moments, but being thirteen at the time, death and those hard moments were too hard to take. Who am I kidding, it is still REALLY hard to take.  He had 5 months and in that time I watched him fight and still put a smile on his face.  I lost out on many lessons and sayings.  I wish I could go back and be a better grand-daughter to one of the strongest, hardworking men I have ever met.  He was the foundation of our family and he held us together well.

2. Not joining a sorority in college. Not that it truly matters now, as I never finished college (personal choice) but I believe had I joined a sorority I would have thoroughly enjoyed college and maybe even taken it more serious and finished. Now that I'm headed back, I can't help but wonder do they let soon to be thirty year olds rush?

3. Always skating by.  I often joke that my parents would introduce my sisters and I this way : " Oh Jenn, she is out academic, Taylor is our athlete and Krista, well she is the social one."  You see, I was good at academics, but leaned toward the socialization aspect of school.  I always have.  College was the same, did someone say "FRAT PARTY?"  The older I get, I regret not taking the time to apply myself to my academics, yes I am intelligent and retain information, however I wish I did better.

4. Blowing my money.  This page turned when I was in college.  All of a sudden I was making more money than my friends and I became the "don't worry I have got you" friend.  People loved me, but soon I had an empty bank account and had racked up quite a bit of debt.  And low and behold, those "friends" were no were to be found.  They had moved on to the next victim nice person.

5. Rushing things.  I am not a girl with a timeline.. Never have been, never will be.  This may come as a shock, but I don't see the white picket fence nor do I see little doe eyed multiples of myself, so what in the hell am I hurrying for?  I have a huge tendency to get really excited and push things to the limit and all of a sudden, I am left standing alone, wondering "why?"  I need to slow down, I need to enjoy the simple things in life again.  I need to stop listening to society and the timelines and limits they put on things.

Those are my BIG 5...  Some may seem stupid but to me I think about them a lot.

Xox
K