Saturday, January 9, 2016

Red Pepper Flakes Incident

As I was shaking out my red pepper flakes this afternoon, I was suddenly reminded of the most idiotic and asinine thing I have ever done to a bowl of pasta.

I don't remember when it was or what restaurant I was in, all I know is my sister was with me, I ordered a pasta dish and was so excited to sprinkle some red pepper flakes into it to give it a nice bite.   I don't know about y'all, but there isn't anything I hate more than bland food.  Ok, well there are a few things I hate more, but you get the picture!

My pasta arrived in all of it's bland and creamy deliciousness.  I added salt and pepper, but I knew I HAD to have those red pepper flakes, so like any heat enthusiast I grabbed the shaker.  Without so much as a warning, I turned the shaker to start shaking and BAM! The lid went sailing into my pasta and the red pepper flakes flowed out of the shaker into a massive mound right in the dead center of my pasta bowl.

I emptied the shaker before I knew what had happened.  I stared for what felt like an eternity before I realized that the pasta sauce was swiftly sinking the flakes into the abyss of the pasta bowl.  I shrieked and tried to spoon out the mess onto my bread plate.  Scoop after scoop after scoop to no avail.

Once I thought I had gotten enough scoops out I stirred the pasta and took a bite... It scorched,  No it was not a true scorching it was more like the depths of Hell burning my mouth,  I screeched for water which obviously didn't help.

As the server walked by I tried to explain what had happened and they just laughed.  LAUGHED!  It wasn't my fault.  Some jerk before didn't put the lid on correctly!  Clearly this had been a huge joke.  I looked around trying to find the culprit and there was no one...  It was all a grave mistake.

I no longer shake without checking the tightness of the lid...  And I am still bitter that I didn't get to enjoy my pasta.