Thursday, January 21, 2016

Dating In Today's World As Explained By Mom

Oh dating, how I loathe thee...

It can be fun, but for the most part, my dating life has been a series of failures.  Sure some were comical, some were painful, some were easy and some were the most difficult and horrendous nights of my life.

The other night my mom and I got on the subject of how I am over $100 bar tabs and she said the most interesting thing:

"That is where dating has turned so casual.  You have all of these young single people who are perfectly fine taking care of themselves but when it comes to a guy taking a girl out, he just doesn't want to spend the money.  Why would he want to?  And why would a girl want to spend all of her money on some dead beat guy?  It's like your generation has wised up on the dead beat front, but has gotten dumb and caved to casual and lame relationships..."

I defended myself, explaining that while I dated guys I didn't always expect them to pick up the check.  I have a real problem with the guy always paying.  I would rather pick up a check here and there.  To me it signifies that we are equal and will be equal partners in whatever happens next.  I will tell you, with some guys this was a little too enthusiastically accepted and by other guys it was a downright insult.

For the ones it was enthusiastically accepted, I found that they then expected me to constantly pick up the check which meant I was done with them.

With the ones that it was an issue I found myself more attracted.  I think it was because even though I want to be equal partners, I also want to know the guy I am seeing is willing to make a gesture towards being the provider.

My mom, of course, had a counter- "It is good you sometimes pick the check up, because with guys in today's society they probably are assuming they are buying sex from the girl by getting her dinner and drinks."

Basically my mom just pointed out that in today's world dinner and drinks is the equivalent of prostitution, but on a legal and more respectful front...  I have to say I can see where she is coming from and I don't fully disagree.

So cheers to my mom to pointing out what is so very clear about dating in today's society.

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