Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Ghosting....

"Ghosting" in direct terms is bailing out on the person you are dating with no communication.  Or rather, being too chicken shit to break it off, so you just disappear.  No more text messages, you change your voicemail to the generic one; by all account you fucking disappear into the witness protection world of dating.


There are many reasons why people pull the "ghosting" act: some are afraid to reject people, some are actually afraid of the person they are dating and others are lazy or just jackasses.  I won't lie to y'all, I have ghosted a few dudes, but they all had it coming and in all honesty, I made it look like I was "too busy" for dating when in truth I was "too lazy" or just not that into the guys I was dating.  

Yes, I am an asshole.


In all fairness I have been ghosted a few times as well.  The hard thing about it is small town living and the fact that you will inevitably run into a person you ghosted or ghosted you.  In some cases the ghost returns for more and you have to ghost them.

One of the best ghosts pulled on me by was by a guy who actually lived on my street and I had to drive by his house EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  We went out a few times, it wasn't really anything serious other than hanging out and an occasional make out.  I went on vacation and came home to see his house had a for rent sign and another neighbor (who knew we were dating, or whatever) telling me he moved while I was gone.  I texted and even called (gasp) and never got a return call...  Eventually I found out he moved to another city but was still working here so needless to say, I still see him.  At first I was offended, but after about 5 years (I think, I am really bad with dates) I find it hilarious.  Like how hard would it have been to pick up the phone and text or say "hey I am moving, it's been fun"?

He actually is one that came back and I ignored.  It was about two years ago and I had other things (like mending a broken heart) going on and I just didn't feel like putting any energy into someone who disappeared so easily in the past.  That, and I really didn't like him all that much.. His voice was like nails on a chalkboard, ugh.



As previously stated, I am an asshole who has pulled the ghosting method a few times.  Most of these times were because I wasn't ready for the seriousness of where the relationships were going so I would stop responding to phone calls and texts.  It was easier to pretend nothing had happened and move forward with my life versus trying to defend the reason why I didn't want to date.  I was just being an immature brat!

I don't have an exact example, because honestly I don't remember with that much clarity, but I know I was a jerk and I feel bad in retrospect.  I don't regret any of the times I ghosted guys nor do I wonder what could have been, but that doesn't mean that I think "ghosting" is appropriate.

People need to snap out of their selfish, asshole behavior and step up to the plate.