Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Online Dating Advice

Do y'all ever read the Elite Daily or Thought Catalog?  I bet more than once you have found yourself sucked into their online articles written by all sorts of internet gurus about life, love, loss, pain, etc.  I mean, I can't be the only one sucked in by their titles, can I?  Please tell me no!

Anyways, since I am single and consider myself my own dating genius (not that it has worked out, but that is another post for another time), I get really sucked into their headlines regarding the 8 ways I should approach a guy or the 17 ways being single has ruined me forever, or how to trick him into commitment.  I don't read these articles because I believe them, I read them because they are so damn entertaining and full of shit that I can't help but be sucked in.  Come on, it's like reality tv that I can read at work while people think I am reading actual news articles.

Comic relief is what I normally find in these articles, yet at times, I am completely perturbed by the asinine commentary and judgments these writers spew as actual advice.

Like who honestly cares if I watch entirely too much Netflix and drink too much wine?


I shouldn't have to wait for a guy to call me and I shouldn't be waiting around for said phone call.


I love how they also claim both sides of female independence- he will like you if you are strong and successful but remember do not to emasculate him by paying for dinner on the first date.  While I know this is true for old school guys, who really gives a f* if I pay for dinner?  Honestly I do care.  A first date, regardless of who asks, the guy should pay.  That is not to say he should always pay, but first dates are for first impressions and my impression is you will not be taking advantage of me on the first date dude.  

Dating more than one person doesn't make me a slut, but only dating one person doesn't set me up for failure either.  I tend to be single focused, so if I am dating you, you're the only person I am dating because this chick ain't no playa- Clearly that statement shows I have absolutely no game, at all.  Speaking of games, why must they be played?  Really the one who cares less wins the relationship game?  But aren't you both alone and miserable after said game is over?  Can't two people just see where things go?  And what is with all of this playing the field shit anyway?  At 28, I now remember why I hated guys in the age brackets of 26-31, they are complete douche canoes.  (Of course there are always the special circumstances in which they are not assholes).

"Hanging out" versus "Dating"...  I flipping hate the term "hanging out", it's like a free pass to say you two are doing it and no one is going to get hurt when one party decided to pursue someone else.  The lines here are too gray and blurred for anyone to take "hanging out" into dating or seriously for that matter.  It's like going from meeting to a relationship- Not. Real. Life!  Dating is the most important step prior to relationship status so maybe we all need to have a little more couth while dating?  It is along the lines of "friends with benefits" where someone always gets hurt.  

I am not saying my advice is sound, but I don't think there should be a set list of rules when dating or being single.  Who would deem themselves the "God and Goddess of Dating" where they decry certain behaviors in the world of finding or not finding a life partner.  The reason so many people are single is because human decency has flown the coop and technology gives us a gateway to cop-outs.

Apparently all single women are destined to die alone with cats..  Well what about just dying alone, because I am not really a cat person...