Friday, May 22, 2015

Burning My House Down 101

In honor(and by demand too) of  Juilette  I am going to share a story...

I won't lie, I can be pretty skilled when it comes to the kitchen.  I can bake cupcakes, cakes, cookies and brownies.  You give me some spinach, chicken, tomatoes (even canned are fine) a few spices and some pasta and I can whip some dinner together in under 30 minutes.  Kitchen sink salad?  I can SO do that.

I'm good in the kitchen...

Unless you ask me to use the oven...  I seriously have NO idea how to bake a chicken or a lasagna, or pretty much anything that isn't a cake or cupcakes.

I can be dumb... Like really dumb.  My smoke/ carbon monoxide detector goes off at least once a week.  I have moved past the whole thinking my house is too hot thing and on to the fact that I just burn things and I should be grateful the smoke detector alarms to let me know.

Most recently I made those egg muffin things and took a short cut by splashing a little olive oil into the tins instead of rubbing them down with coconut oil...  All was fine and dandy.  I popped them in the oven and went to finish putting things away from my trip.  I noticed a weird smell, but just figured it was because I used the olive oil.

About 5 minutes later the smoke detectors started sounding.  Also please keep in mind, this is like 10 pm on a Tuesday.  I start scrambling trying to get the damn things out of the oven while trying to make the stupid detector shut up, which involved a step stool, fan and broom.  I am most definitely sure I looked straight up insane and hopefully my alarm didn't wake the neighbors.

If you think that is bad, nothing beats the time where I tried my hand at macaroons, you know the semi toasty coconut mounds of delciousness.  Pinterest swore it would be easy.  In fact I read through the recipe like a 100 times just to be sure I wasn't missing any part of it.

Here is the thing- nothing seemed right so I should have known better than to listen to the damn instructions when it said the broil them...  BROIL!  Meaning right under the flame... It couldn't be that hard, right?

WRONG, so very wrong!  Especially when I forgot about them and they broiled for 165 10 minutes and my smoke detector sounded the alarm and I noticed a smokey haze throughout my house.

I ran to shut off the oven and pull out the pan, which was fully engulfed in macaroon flames.  Thankfully my sink is immediately to the left of my stove and I was able to put the fire out, but seriously who catches freaking cookies on fire in the damn oven?!?!  Then of course I remembered you aren't supposed to use water but baking soda...  Oh well!

I think I will keep the broiler use to a minimum with steaks or asparagus and on low... No more high flames for this girl!

Oh and my house currently smells like burnt olive oil.