Friday, June 27, 2014

Bar Bites

Oh lookie here, it is the very last Friday of June!

I don't really have much to say to June, except "Peace out sucker!"  Actually, I am lying- June wasn't all that bad, but it went fast and I like to complain about how fast time is going and how life changes the older we get.  Honestly, my life hasn't changed much since I turned 21... I still feel like a Raspberry Wheat or Lemon Shandy is a nutritious dinner for myself.  This would be the exact reason I say no to having any animals or ever having kids.

So anyways, let's discuss the fact that people are weird and disgusting creatures these days and the fact that I got bit at a bar... Not once, but TWICE in the same night!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know what you are thinking and I don't know how it happened and no I didn't beat their ass, although I should have.  I froze up.  Both times.  I was more shocked than anything and there were no words or actions I could use or take because all I kept hearing in my head was, "I just got bit, like someone seriously just bit my arm, who does that?"

Let me take you back to the first bite- I was sitting at the bar counter and reached for my beer only to have my left arm grabbed and have some weird guy bite my bicep then run away out of the bar.  At first I thought I was hallucinating, but then I remembered I don't do drugs so there was no way that could be.  The bartender asked if he bit me and a blankly nodded.  I kept checking for broken skin and thinking I needed a rabies shot, but thankfully there weren't even teeth marks so I went about my merry beer drinking ways.

Approximately two hours later, this guy comes up to me and introduces himself all nice style.  I went to shake the hand he offered and he grabbed my wrist and bit my forearm, without hesitation I smacked him right upside the head and security had the balls to say I assaulted him.. Uh.. REALLY?  I am the one who has teeth marks but ok.  A friend was able to help me out of the situation and the bartender even looked at security like they were insane as I was the one who got bit.  I am sorry, is there some sort of protocol for being bit that I don't know about?  The guys were forced to leave, but I just don't get it.

Who in the hell bites total strangers?  Were they delusional and on bath salts?  Watch one too many episodes of "True Blood " or "The Vampire Diaries"?  Maybe they thought they were God's gifts to preteens in the form of one of those guys from "Twilight"?  All I know is I am scared to ever go to that bar again, for fear they are summer dwellers and I will have to see them again.

Weirdos.










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