Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Maybe I belong in Maine...

I have a confession to make...  I am old, well not really old, but old in the sense that I just got overly excited about Land's End having a their "warehouse" event sale.  Which made me think, Jesus, why in the f are you excited to shop in a store that your mother doesn't even shop in?!?!?!   Apparently, I am 60 years old, or rather 70, because most senior citizens I know don't even shop at Land's End.  Or perhaps I am a pretentious asshole that should live on the Vineyard.  Either way, I need help and a lot of it.

I have always considered myself an old soul.  I believe in romanticism, values and a good Frank Sinatra song.  I know for a fact I live in the wrong time, but I don't believe I really fit in any other "time" as I love modern conveniences so maybe I should consider packing it all up and heading east.  Not just east but north east toward Maine or Nova Scotia.  Perhaps I'd fair well there with all of their snow and pompous living.  I could dress like this: 
And marry a guy like this:
We could go to the "cabin": 

And be all sorts of outdoors-y:

Seriously, why do I think this would be awesome?!?!  I really only love my yoga pants and Uggs with a hoodie.  I need help, and  a lot of it.

*** images from and