Friday, April 19, 2013

It works for me.

Yes, I am going to be a Debbie Downer today, I just can't help it.  I am frustrated and I have allowed myself to become this frustrusted when I simply could have taken a step back, re-evaluated the situation and either walked away or pushed forward.  I am talking about a guy here.  One that I REALLY liked like and I am pretty damn sure he felt feels the same, but him being a stubborn ass man won't allow for whatever we have to progress further than a once in awhile date, once in awhile text and an almost never phone call.  Don't get me wrong, I am busy as all hell and I actually liked LIKE the way things were going.  I have my life, he has his and we would meet somewhere in the middle.  Lately, people have been telling me to walk away, it's time to move on and he will never commit if I keep waiting around for him.  Here is the deal, this girl doesn't wait around for anyone, I have been living my hectic life, doing my own thing and not pining away so what in the F is the big deal if I am not walking away from him and why in F do people think this is any of their damn business.  Sure I could read dating books, look up advice, sulk and bitch and moan, but I am not doing any of this. Of course I ask married friends for a little advice here and there (my sister included, who has a bias view) and today I went to a fabulous guy friend and asked what I should do... They all said the EXACT same thing... Walk away. While I am extremely professional at sneaking away from relationships when things get too hot and heavy, this situation feels different. Not a "I am going to turn his bachelor set mind into marriage" (here's looking at you Stacey Keibler) but more of a " I really dig him, he digs me, let's go out and have some fun" different. Has the dating world become so intense that it's a "do or die" with each and every date?  I am at complete loss.  Please don't get me wrong, he can irritate and annoy the hell out of me.  For instance, yesterday we texted and I called him told him to call me back and of course he didn't.  That is annoying, but I have the same habit of not returning phone calls, so how can you be pissed at someone who has the same bad habits as me.  Here is what I do know, I am not ready to walk away.  Call me a hopeless romantic or a complete idiot, but I just don't know how to give up on something I REALLY want.  Maybe he will completely shit on me, maybe it'll just be a "for the moment" thing or maybe it'll be forever (although I am not ready for forever).  Here is the thing, no one really knows what your relationship is, as they aren't part of it so I guess I need to do what I am doing and let it go.

There is my vent!