Thursday, March 16, 2017

Plastic Surgery

About a month ago I went with my mom for an eye surgery consultation.  When I think "eye surgery" a plastic surgery center full of Botox beauties doesn't enter my mind... Yet that is what I entered walking into this consultation.

A little background- my mom has extra skin on her eyelids which is causing vision irritation and other issues so she is getting that fixed so she can not hit things when she is driving.

Anyways, my mom's soon to be surgeon comes in.  He is all of like 35 and totally thinks he is hot shit, which kinda made me laugh seeing as you could tell he had just come from racquetball.  He did his assessment of my mom and told her she was sure to be approved and that another assistant would be in to help her fill out paperwork.  Let's call her Stacy.

I would like to make it sound like Stacy just appeared unassuming, yet Stacy is a lot...  More than a lot, she is Stacy!.  At first I couldn't tell if she was thirty or fifty.  She had giant Texas blonde hair and big painted up lips that looked like they were stuck somewhere between duck lips and fish puckers.   Oh and they were painted up in fuchsia... Glittery, glossy fuchsia.

I can barely understand any words coming from Stacy's mouth other than she just had her lips done and had a few Botox shots and we could totally get some too because "Hello, Botox is ahhhmazzzing!"  She literally was trying up sell my mom into getting injections.  SO much so that we had prices laid out in front of us and Stacy took it upon herself to go and get another woman.  let's call her Nadia.

I am sitting in a room full of women when Stacy lets loose on her age.. She is 58 and has been doing Botox injections and chemical peels since she was 32...  That is 26 years.  Did Botox exist 26 years ago?  I haven't any idea, but I couldn't question Stacy without Nadia interjecting that a lip filler on my upper and lower lip would make everyone go gaga over me.  Admittedly, Stacy looked good for her age, but she couldn't move her lips and said she avoided smiling and laughter because it would mean she would have to get injections sooner than later.

Before I knew what was happening I was answering questions about my age what I would like to have done, where they could see I needed fillers and before I know I was quoted for $3400 of fillers and Botox...

$3400!  But don't worry I could apply for Care Credit and make payments, but the fillers and Botox only last 6-8 months...  In case you are wondering, it was $1000 for one tube of Botox/filler included with the procedure then the tube price drops to $600 for each tube after that, which means my face and just my face would require 5 tubes of filler/ Botox.

And I thought I looked good for thirty...

Before I do Botox, maybe I should apply sunscreen, use anti wrinkle cream, and quit drinking so much?