Monday, January 16, 2017

Guy Friend

There are different types of girls- guy's girls, girl's girls or a combo of the two.  My entire life I identified with being a guy's girl which meant I was always friends with the guys, playing dodge ball, tether ball or horse shoes.  I learned early on that girls can be drama and they compete quite horribly with each other...  What I didn't know was that those girls were in a completely different league.  Those girls are just trolls.  This isn't about them.

The guy's girl tends to be more at ease with dudes and tends to grow into the woman we all despise.  She talks football and cars, drinks a beer and burps without a second thought.  She wouldn't be caught dead at a girl's night and will most definitely get away with the messy bun, sweat pants, and raglan look without looking homeless.  These girls are the ones that guys look to for advice about dating, yet these girls would NEVER ask a guy friend for advice dating, because the guy's girl doesn't let her dudes know there is a beau.

The girl's girl is all about her girl nights, isn't in the market to make any guy friends because how could she ever find a guy to marry that way?  She is classy, put together and insists on wine Wednesdays with her gals because when else will they discuss the men they are dating?  These girls are the epitome of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha and they have very clearly defined which lady they identify the most with.

The deadly one in the way of all relationships is the combo girl.  This is where I fall.  I have my girls and I have my guys,  I walk down the middle... I will burp with the guys at football on Sunday and come Wednesday bring a bottle of Merlot to girls night.  Girlfriends hate me and other women just don't understand the friendships forged.  The thing is, I would never trade my guys or girls for anyone and nothing is worse than when the two meet and don't work out.  Of course, it is a double standard.  As a combo girl, I am free to date the friends of my guy friends and I have.  While they didn't work out, it was also a good thing.  You basically get a background check upon introduction and your guy friends will have your back.  This is where having guy friends is a bit of a bonus of just having girlfriends.

The thing is there is a nothing wrong with having guy friends and it is shitty when women try to shame me for it.  I understand boundaries, especially when there are wives or girlfriends.  Honestly, it is sometimes better to have the significant other around so you're not responsible to keep him in line.  I also know that sometimes it is nice to be able to call up a guy friend and ask advice or literally just shoot the shit.  I haven't fallen into the cliche of falling for any of my guy friends so I truly believe if there are lines those lines will be respected and not crossed.

When a woman puts a wall up against men in the friendship zone, they are also putting a wall up when it comes to dating.  A lot of men in today's world want to be friends with women prior to settling down.  To some that may seem like a game, but to me it makes total sense.  Out of the guys that have asked for friendship first, none of them have ghosted me, none have broken my heart and more importantly most are still friends that I could call up to have a beer with no romantic involvement, because we know it just wouldn't work out.  These guys actually turn into amazing wing men.

All I am saying is, don't knock it until you try it... You just might find a best friend that ends up being a soul mate.