April Recap

April has flown by, mostly because it was such a busy month for me.  Here is what I was up to:

Therapy-I finished up with my PTSD therapy sessions from Route 91.  I am not "cured", but I am more aware of healthy ways of coping and getting through traumas.  I cannot say enough good things about the therapist I found and I am so grateful for the tools, tips and tricks she gave me.

Concerts- I attended 5 concerts in April.  There was Michael Ray, front row Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean's record release party, Morgan Wallen and Hal Ketchum.  I had attended a few concerts in February, but was still skittish so I decided it was time to take them by storm.  The Michael Ray and Morgan Wallen shows were full of other Route 91-ers which made it easier and it is truly amazing how a group of people have come together to support one another and just hug it out when anxiety and fears are running high.  I took back my concert loving life and I am really proud of myself for that.

Dating-I said "bye bye" to Bumble because it just isn't the way I want to meet someone.  Yes I met some cool dudes, but I hate the feeling of being an "option".  While my friends and I had fun on it, we all agreed it is practically summer so it's lame to keep it around.  Plus it seems that guys are really only interested in one date and then disappearing completely.

Keto- I was so down for Keto and I will say that I had amazing results when I went full, hardcore, peeing on a strip Keto, but life happened and I wasn't prepared the way I should have been.  Since then I have been doing low-carb or what some consider "dirty"/ "lazy" Keto and I am still having good results, just not as fast.  Basically I am all about low carb 92% of the time.  Also I watched "The Magic Pill" on Netflix and I will tell you this, it has totally changed the way I view food, what we are suggested to eat and how to change it.  

Adulting- I went out and bought myself a new kitchen table and couch.  They get delivered next week and I have to say I am VERY excited about this stage of adulting.  While I spent more than what I had wanted to spend, I got items that I fell in love with and luckily for me, the couch was a clearance item so I saved some dough there.  

I hope April ends on a happy note for y'all and cheers to May.

"Seredipdating"

On Tuesday, Yahoo shared an article with a brand new dating term -Serindipdating.  This was added to a long list of other dating words that describe the dating scene for us singles out in the world including, but not limited to:

Benching
Ghosting
FWB
Haunting
Tuning
Bread-crumbing
Cuffing

There are a few others and this article here tells you all about them and their wonderful descriptions.

Back to "serindipdating"... Here is the short break down, you basically avoid making dates or commitment for fear of missing out on something better; you complain of no spark, while seeking a spark that may never come; you plan your white picket fence dreams on a significant other whose perfection isn't realistic; all the while, good guys are right in front of you and you "just don't feel it".

Won't lie, I am very guilty of this and so are many of the single people I know and have dated.  I have gone on dates that seem great, only to be "ghosted", "benched" and whatever other lame term there is to describe men who have absolutely no balls to tell you they are not interested and I have completely stopped talking to guys who come on too strong.  In my defense, most of them didn't take "no" too kindly so there was no other choice.

A few weeks ago I went on a date with E and we had, what I thought was, a good time.  Good enough for him to hand over an expensive bottle of wine at the end of the date... The date that ended so awkwardly it seemed surreal...   Have I heard from him?  Yes he texted me when he trekked back down to the city and made it safely home.  Other than that, no.  I have texted a couple of times and he has responded, but I don't have the energy to chase a dude around who is seemingly not interested, or rather looking for something different.

Did he come out and say that?  No, but in today's world with texting, Instagram, Snap, Bumble, and Tinder, among other things, his silence has said enough.  There hasn't been a suggestion for a second date other than my own suggestion, which he said "sure" to but I have yet to see that come to fruition.  I mean, he really could be busy, but after three weeks I am not buying that.  What will be will be.

As a society, dating apps and texting have ruined our chances at an actual connection, because we are constantly seeking something more meaningful, while only getting to know people superficially.  This is why I have a two date minimum.  I won't make a decision on a guy until the end of the second date, because first dates are awkward as hell, but "serindipdating" is preventing many second dates or even first dates from occurring.

The only way I see these dating trends ending is for people to go back to values and morals instilled in older generations where we respected ourselves enough to not want a bad reputation; where we respected other people's feelings enough to be honest; and where we made true human connections beyond looks, social status, and really looked for happiness and laughter.

We have all gotten so caught up in the next "match" and "like" that most of us have forgotten who are and until we come back to ourselves we will never be able to find a person we deem worthy enough to settle down with.