Struggling

Here I am, 7 weeks from the most horrific night of my life and as much as I want to write about Black Friday deals or Thanksgiving recipes, I can't bring myself to.  That is what happens when your brain experiences trauma.  You shut down.  Things that once seemed important now become trivial, vapid and shallow...

I don't want to live my life that way, which is why I am struggling. 

I am struggling to find a balance between what was and what now is.  The term "new normal" doesn't seem fair, because I didn't pick it, it happened to me, but that is the most fitting term to describe this weird purgatory type life I am leading.

We did Friendsgiving last night and I witnessed three different arguments, each trivial, but meaning so much to the people who were fighting.  To me it wasn't worth it... I guess that is what happens when you run for your life for a 2nd time from a man wielding an automatic rifle.  I wanted to yell, "do you know how lucky you are that this is how small and insignificant these issues you have are?" 

That is the new me.

I find it harder and harder each day to empathetic to people with "first world problems".  Yes life changes you, but 1 October made me re-evaluate my problems and guess what?  They aren't so bad. 

You can always earn more money, but you cannot get your time, harsh words or actions back.

With Thanksgiving approaching, I ask this of each of you, who makes your heart happy and say thank you to them for being in your life.  They may make your life irritable at times, but after so many were lost 7 short weeks ago, we must celebrate the love and kindness in each of us.